"Hey Kevin. I'm really grieved about cheating on my taxes the other day when I was working through my deductions. I want to confess that to you so you can hold me accountable to do the right thing."

"Oh Tim, don't worry about it man - everyone does that here and there, it's not a big deal. Besides, it's your money. Just forget about it."

What's wrong with that conversation? Or this one:

"Hi Betty. I wanted to call and confess to you that I told some of the ladies at church the information you shared with me about your marriage problems with Gregg even though you had asked me not to say anything. I'm very sorry Betty, will you please forgive me?"

"Oh yeah, Nancy... no problem. That's not really that big of a deal, I wouldn't worry about it... I mean that should be good anyway, right? Now they know how to pray for us."

Unfortunately, it seems as though Christians have a lot of these conversations. These examples show two different people who have sinned are looking for accountability, but aren't receiving it. They have confessed their sins to one another, yet have not been responded to in a helpful manner.

It's certainly a natural tendency of ours to minimize sin when hearing from repentant and heartfelt people who are seeking forgiveness and accountability. We don't like things to be messy or lacking in peace. We don't tend to desire conflict. I'll be the first to admit that it's hard to confront someone who is in sin, or to agree with them that they have sinned in a specific situation. Our propensity is to make them feel better about themselves or the situation, without actually addressing the issue for what it is. Yet, in the end what we actually do is make a bad situation worse by granting permission to sin.

A primary aspect of true Christian community is accountability. Christians who are focused on holiness have a longing for accountability and correction. The Apostle James envisioned a community that was intentional about the mutual confession of sins: "Confess your sins to one another and pray for one another" (James 5:16a). This is certainly not a detailed account of specific sin, but rather a humble honesty about having committed sin, and recognizing the need to be cleansed by Christ. Paul also had mutual confession in mind as he wrote to the Galatians: "Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ" (Galatians 6:1-2). Matthew Henry wisely comments:

Where persons have injured one another, acts of injustice must be confessed to those against whom they have been committed. Where persons have tempted one another to sin or have consented in the same evil actions, there they ought mutually to blame themselves and excite each other to repentance. Where crimes are of a public nature, and have done any public mischief, there they ought to be more publicly confessed, so as may best reach to all who are concerned. And sometimes it may be well to confess our faults to some prudent minister or praying friend, that he may help us to plead with God for mercy and pardon.^[1]

James' exhortation is not a suggestion that one should keep a record of their personal wrongdoings to confess to another. It seems more appropriate to understand James as commanding confession to other believers when the sin is public, when the sin directly affects another person, or when the sin is recurrent in our lives and we are in need of accountability. It is also wise to confess sins to another when our conscience is grieved, and when we would like someone else to remind us of the promises of God to forgive us our sins when we humbly confess them to Him. In this we must be wise, for to confess our sins outside the circle of each sin's effect, we may be causing more harm than good. If today's Christians truly desire the experience of genuine Christian community, it would do us well to make a practice of confessing our sins to one another.

Perhaps more important than confessing our sins to another is how we hear and respond when someone else is confessing their sins to us. Kevin and Betty in our example above did not respond in a way that is helpful. Kevin could have responded differently by saying:

"Well Tim, I'm encouraged to know that you are seeking accountability for this sin - I will be faithful to hold you to what you have asked. And remember brother, because of Jesus' sacrifice for sinners, the Lord is faithful to forgive you for your sin when you humbly repent. It has already been paid for."

In this response, Kevin didn't attempt to make Tim feel better about sinning - in fact he acknowledges that guilt and a grieved conscience are good things in the midst of sin. Additionally, he agrees to hold Tim accountable to correct his wrongdoing and appropriately reminds him of the gospel. Betty could have more appropriately responded to Nancy if she had said:

"Yes Nancy, I forgive you. I must say that I am hurt to know that you shared with others what I had asked you not to, but I am thankful for your honesty and your willingness to make things right. There's no way that I couldn't forgive you because of how much forgiveness I have been granted in Christ."

Betty is not sweeping Nancy's sin under the rug. She grants her forgiveness, and yet is honest about her hurt in the situation. Most importantly, Betty reminds Nancy of the gospel when she mentions how great a debt she has been forgiven in Christ Jesus. Betty is now obligated to be reconciled to Nancy.

Do you see the difference? A community of faith that responds appropriately to the sins of others is a community of faith that is healthy, unified, and filled with joy. The burden of guilt and bitterness is removed. The consciences of the people are cleansed. And most importantly, the gospel is spoken of, applied, and seen as the end all be all of life together. "So in the Christian community" wrote Dietrich Bonhoeffer, "when the call to brotherly confession and forgiveness goes forth it is a call to the great grace of God in the Church."[2]

May the people of God be faithful to confess their sins to one another, and may the people of God respond to their brothers and sisters appropriately as a reflection of the grace of God in the gospel of Jesus Christ.