I love giving away good books (not mine, but copies that I buy for others!). Over the past several months, one of the books I have given away frequently to Christian fathers is Voddie Baucham's latest volume entitled,What He Must Be... if he wants to Marry My Daughter. As a pastor, I am frequently observing the devastating effects of unbiblical relationships as young people pursue mates while their parents take a back seat and "hope for the best." As I read Baucham's book for the first time, I had to refrain from standing and shouting "Amen!" on several occasions. I am thankful for his wisdom and courage in a day when the pursuit of a biblical framework for relationships is chided and ignored, even within much of the Church.

Baucham writes in chapter 1:

his book is built on a single, simple premise: I believe fathers have a God-given responsibility to see to it that their daughters marry well and that their sons become worthy husbands. As such, I believe it is necessary for fathers to model biblical manhood, teach biblical manhood, and hunt for biblical manhood on behalf of their daughters. Similarly, I believe fathers with sons have a responsibility to prepare their sons for marriage. (27)

This is a great read, not only for fathers with daughters, but also for those with sons. Baucham does a masterful job in describing what biblical manhood looks like, and what a father should be looking for in a potential mate for his daughter, or what he should be instilling in, modeling, and teaching his son. With very few examples today of what men are called to be, it is imperative that Christian families understand God's design, purpose, and desire. So, according to Baucham, what must a man be if he is to marry his daughter?

• He must be a follower of Christ
• He must be prepared to lead
• He must lead like Christ (Ephesians 5)
• He must be committed to children
• He must practice the four P's (Protector, Provider, Prophet, Priest)

Each of these elements comprises an entire chapter in What He Must Be. Additionally, Baucham provides biblically sound, practical wisdom regarding the father's role, namely that he is to walk his daughter through the process of finding, vetting, courting, and marrying "Mr. Right". Baucham provides ample evidence from the Old and New Testaments of the Scriptures and soundly defeats many critics who suppose much of what the Bible teaches on relationships is "cultural" in nature. What He Must Be is a "must read" for Christian fathers, and would also be a great read for young men and women who are preparing themselves for courtship and marriage.

If for no other reason, I recommend reading Baucham's book for his excellent analysis of the current crisis in marriage and "dating" relationships:

Little thought is given to preparing our sons to be husbands. Thus, they meander through life without the skills or mind-set necessary to play the most important role until one day, having met 'the one,' they pop the question, set a date, and -- in the rarest cases -- go to the pastor to learn everything they need to know about being a priest, prophet, provider, and protector of a household in four one-hour sessions. In the words of that great theologian Dr. Phil, 'How's that workin' for ya?'

As a result, we have families led by men who haven't the foggiest idea what their role is or how to carry it out. We have wives who were created with a God-given need to be led by godly men, a curse from the days in the garden that puts them at odds with this arrangement, and a cultural mandate to fight against male headship. Top this off with children who long for security that can only be found in clear roles and boundaries in the home, and the result is a frustrated family mired by dysfunction. Sound familiar?

Yes, unfortunately it sounds all too familiar as it plays out in the Church across America because many have decided to adapt to the world's systems instead of clinging to the wisdom of God.